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The Practical Ending

by Alex Sobel “And finally, if you pray enough, do good works, and have a loving heart, when you die, God will come and delete all of the porn off your computer.” I said it loud, the entire speech as written. I projected my voice, soft palate raised, tongue resting against my bottom teeth, just like I was taught. The man at the door studied the pamphlet, glancing over the top of his glasses. Like everyone else on the block who had bothered to answer, he was middle-aged, aggressively so, like his age was a hard-lost battle. He looked sweaty. Not just sweaty, but of sweat, like it was his regular state, his body at room temperature. He had answered the door out of breath, his clothes barely on, suggesting he’d been naked only seconds before. I looked back at Dad, who was standing on the sidewalk in front of the house. His arms were crossed, his expression a mix of piety and delirium. These days he wore nothing but a navy sport coat over too small t-shirts featuring the logos for class

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